In the evening I met with the minister and we
talked for 1 ½ hour. I was telling him of my motherís life, what
she went through as a Jewess during the Nazi days and also afterwards,
how G-d protected and cared for us, and how she and I came to believe in
Yeshua being our Messiah. He showed very great interest and would have
loved to ask and hear yet more had it not gotten late and he still needed
to prepare both for Sunday service and my motherís and someone elseís funeral
Saturday morning a friend from the inter-denominational
congregation in Osnabrueck with whom the Lord had connected me 3 years
ago drove up to help me with clearing motherís room at the nursing home.
It was a difficult task, one I had done once before
when I had to dissolve my motherís household upon her being moved into
the lovely nursing home the Lord had provided for her through the agency
of my dear lady friend.
I was grateful for my brother in the Lord to help
me not only for driving me as I had no car but also with this troublesome
task as it kept me from lingering too long, pondering, grieving and undecided
about what to keep and what to dispose of. We quickly filled a few boxes
with items I wished to keep, the nursing home taking care of the remainders,
then we drove back to my friendís home. There my brother handed me a white
envelope: in it were 335 Euro the congregation and his family had collected
to help me defray the costs of the funeral.
Thank you Lord! You are so good!
Saturday afternoon the drizzle had stopped and
here and there sunshine broke through. On Sunday it was only partially
cloudy, but still cold and windy. I had a long visit with my heavenly Father
while my friend prepared one of my favorite dishes --- stuffed beef rouladen
with Spaetzle and fresh, mixed vegies. Afterwards we took a walk through
a lovely park and visited her younger daughter recuperating from manic
depression in a special home geared for such patients.
I dreaded the next day. I had two shots of burbon
to help calm the anxiety. But I clouldnít sleep. I tossed and turned until
I got up again and watched TV Ė ďBabe in the city.Ē Ha! Absolutely hilarious!
That did it! I went back to bed and fell asleep.
Monday morning had dawned Ė the day so dreaded!
I rose early to have plenty of time to abide in the Lordís Presence. I
certainly did not want to face this day without prayer and the comforting
strength of His Presence and love.
My friend and I stepped outside --- into warm
sunshine radiating from a deep-blue, cloudless sky. It was a glorious day,
as though we were heading toward a wedding and not a funeral. My spirit
lifted in view of such heavenly kindness.
We arrived early at the funeral hall where the
coffin was already placed, adorned with the most beautiful flower arrangement
in cheerful spring colors, and surrounded by candel light on tall iron
wrought candle sticks. Colored bright light was bursting through the stained
glass windows. Was this to be a funeral?
The few faithful friends of almost 2 decades had
arrived, as well as a few ladies from motherís former singing group who
had read about her passing in the paper. The coffin bearers sat waiting
with solemn faces and the organist. Soothing melodies emanated from the
organ rather than melancholic tunes of mourning. Outside birds sang so
loud that we could hear them on top of the organ, as though G-d had appointed
a special choir to accompany the organist.
The minister held a wonderful, sincere speech,
truly honoring my mother. He really had listened to me! The moment I so
dreaded had come. And no matter how often I told myself that it was merely
my motherís earthen frame which was being delivered into the grave, the
finality of my motherís passing just tore into my heart with relentless
It was not merely the passing of my mother effecting
me so, but the fact that she was the last of an entire family that had
perished in the Nazi Holocaust, except for a few survivors. All were gone
now, none were left, but me alone. The realization of it washed over my
heart like a tsunami.
Suddenly my friendís hand took mine, squeezing
gently as she heard me breath heavily, tears streaming down my cheeks.
I was missing my husband, children and grandchildren terribly. Oh Lord,
why did you not provide for all of us to accompany mother on this day of
final farewell? Here I was, the youngest and last of the old generation,
with none of motherís posterity at my side.