I arrived at my friend’s home a little
after midnight. She had waited up for me and we still talked until 2:00
in the morning.
The next morning, a cold, grey and rainy Friday,
a beautifully set table and generous breakfast greeted me and my dear friend,
offering to come with me for the errands I had to attend to.
It was her who last year had counseled me to choose
a funeral home and make the necessary arrangements, so that in the case
of mother’s sudden departure the funeral home could immediately attend
to every matter. I checked out two and when my friend called, decided on
the one my mother had consulted with when still alive.
Before leaving for Germany I cried to G-d to help
me, for I did not know what to do and how to pay for all of it.
“Please, Abba, take care of everything for me
for I am as helpless as a newborn infant here. Let me hide in your arms
and hear you say, ‘Hush, my child, don’t worry. Daddy is going to take
care of everything.’ For I am lost without you!”
And G-d heard my cry!
My travel agent gave me the plane tickets without
payment. “Don’t worry about the money,” she said with a smile. “You go
and take care of things for your mother. You pay me when you can.” That
is how I got to Germany on time.
G-d reward her for her kindness!
When I arrived with my friend at the funeral home,
all the papers were prepared. My friend had called them immediately following
our conversation, and the funeral home went “into gear” without delay.
Transporting mother from the hospital they placed her into one of the “cool
rooms” where mother’s mortal frame laid in the open coffin I had chosen
last year, her body dressed in the lovely white gown I had selected.
I had nothing more to do than choose the ad the
funeral home would place into the weekend paper and sign a release for
the funeral home to attend to all legal matters. My friend brought the
folder with mother’s every legal paper and form needed.
Even the minister agreed to reschedule mother’s
funeral for Monday morning instead of Tuesday (since it was already Friday,
and over the weekend no funerals are conducted), and to meet with me the
same evening. It was as though I heard almost audibly my heavenly Father
say, “Don’t worry, my child. Daddy is taking care of everything!”
I praised and thanked Him aloud right then and
Face Of Death
I decided to see my mother for one last time.
My friend counseled me against it but it apparently did not register with
me. I wanted to see my beloved mother one more time.
We found the cool room and entered. A knife as
cold as ice shot through my whole being, a cruel, devastating shock shaking
me and making me cry out loud. This was not my mother! It was not her I
was seeing --- I was looking at death!!!
I was shaking and trembling violently and crying
loud, fleeing the room! I had seen dead people before, they looked like
sleeping, still recognizable. The face I just had seen did not resemble
my mother at all. I had seen only the hideous face of death!
My friend took me into her arms, holding me firmly
without saying a word. She let me pour out my heart, and finally said quietly,
“Now you know why G-d did not answer your prayer that she may pass from
your arms into His. Your mother’s spirit had already left, and it would
not have been her but death you would have held in your arms. G-d was wanting
to spare you that. So, be comforted!”
I could not stop trembling and crying. Back in
the funeral home’s office they brought a bottle of cognac and poured me
a small glass. I ended up drinking three of these glasses which got me
to stop from trembling and crying, helping me to regain my composure and
Having ordered the flower arrangements at the
gardener my mother always went to my friend invited me for lunch, and then
we returned to her place.